Stupid Gravity: A Mermaid's Blog
How do mermaids see the wonders of the lands beyond the surf? Not by making iffy deals with shifty characters who are half octopus and wear too much makeup. They partner with sea horses to get around.
Problem is... stupid gravity.
Still, these doughty mermaids (and presumably there are some merboys out there too) venture forth to see what there is to sea.
They are often joined by other characters. You might recognize some of them from movies and memes.
Problem is... stupid gravity.
Still, these doughty mermaids (and presumably there are some merboys out there too) venture forth to see what there is to sea.
They are often joined by other characters. You might recognize some of them from movies and memes.
and: Gramma Swordwhale's mermaid blog
Mermaiding is a thing, for anyone, any age, any size, any shape, any color, any gender. So put on your tail and explore some cool places on the DelMarVa Peninsula, learn some weird facts about life underwater (and how you can protect it), oh, and how to mermaid...
If you can't get to the sea, bring it to you. It might be as simple as taking pics of Mermaid You in your bathtub, or a wading pool.
I made a backyard beach by throwing out n old living room rug. It served as a weed barrier, I bordered it with pavers, and piled play sand ($3/50 pound bag) on top. At the end, is a shallow horse tank (about a foot deep) with water loving plants like arrowroot and lotus in it. Mosquito dunks to control the skeeters. The plants keep the water oxygenated enough for frogs and such. Add some whelks and quahog clams from Assateague Island and there you go...
I set the phone on a tripod and used the "cheese shutter" (it also responds to "whiskey"). The phone tended to go into hibernation mode, so I yelled WHISKEY at it a lot while pulling on the tail.
Monofin is the Finis Luna, a silicone fin with great flow and adjustable. It doesn't fit my wide feet though unless I add hairband extenders. It is very functional and comfy for most mermaids. My personal favorite is the Linden.
The leggings are "Lotus Moon" by Fin FUn, the tail is "Blue Lagoon" by Fin Fun. They make great, affordable mer gear (for any gender, any age) in a variety of styles. They are also highly safety oriented. Check out their videos.
The "fishook" is indeed a Maui fish hook, surfers, then kayakers and scuba divers adopted it from the Polynesians... pay your respects to the sea gods!
If you can't get to the sea, bring it to you. It might be as simple as taking pics of Mermaid You in your bathtub, or a wading pool.
I made a backyard beach by throwing out n old living room rug. It served as a weed barrier, I bordered it with pavers, and piled play sand ($3/50 pound bag) on top. At the end, is a shallow horse tank (about a foot deep) with water loving plants like arrowroot and lotus in it. Mosquito dunks to control the skeeters. The plants keep the water oxygenated enough for frogs and such. Add some whelks and quahog clams from Assateague Island and there you go...
I set the phone on a tripod and used the "cheese shutter" (it also responds to "whiskey"). The phone tended to go into hibernation mode, so I yelled WHISKEY at it a lot while pulling on the tail.
Monofin is the Finis Luna, a silicone fin with great flow and adjustable. It doesn't fit my wide feet though unless I add hairband extenders. It is very functional and comfy for most mermaids. My personal favorite is the Linden.
The leggings are "Lotus Moon" by Fin FUn, the tail is "Blue Lagoon" by Fin Fun. They make great, affordable mer gear (for any gender, any age) in a variety of styles. They are also highly safety oriented. Check out their videos.
The "fishook" is indeed a Maui fish hook, surfers, then kayakers and scuba divers adopted it from the Polynesians... pay your respects to the sea gods!
Cast and Crew of Stupid Gravity
How to Mermaid Your Own Story
This began with a couple of rescued Our Generation horses, and an irresistible mermaid from the Baltimore Aquarium (National Aquarium in Baltimore MD).
In the gift shop, that is. The plush mermaid had no reason to go home with me, I am not a 10 year old kid...
But, turquoise fin and reddish hair and... yeah...sunk. I do collect all things oceanic, have jumped off perfectly good floatin' boats to look at sunken ones, decorated Christmas trees and carved pumpkins underwater. And this site is called "swordwhale".
So... yeah... not feeling the least bit guilty about taking home some mermaids.
I was already photographing the rather extensive life long collection of Breyer horses in natural settings with some special FX like water or sand flung at their feet to make them look like they are galloping fabulously through the surf.
Not a stretch to wonder how mermaids get along on land.
On seahorses, of course, sea horses with legs. Blue ones, black ones, whatever. The Our Generation horses were perfect (and much more accurately horsey than the similarly scaled American Girl horses)..
I also had a smaller mermaid I'd got years ago, and she became the little sister.
None of them stayed well on slippery seahorses.
Stupid gravity.
Mermaids don't have to deal with gravity in the sea.
I used various sticky dots and Scotch sticky wall putty and made saddles. Mermaids fell off, blew off in the sea wind, and generally had more trouble with horses than I ever had in 62 years of horsemanship...
which was often hilarious.
Then I had to build mermaid saddles for the horses.
Add more mermaids (a friend brought along hers), some other sea creatures, and Hank and Toothless and Otterlock and Hedgejawn and at least two different Black Panthers and Moana and Legolas and some Avengers... and anyone else who wanders by and the beach party never stops.
Some tips for your own beach party.
In the gift shop, that is. The plush mermaid had no reason to go home with me, I am not a 10 year old kid...
But, turquoise fin and reddish hair and... yeah...sunk. I do collect all things oceanic, have jumped off perfectly good floatin' boats to look at sunken ones, decorated Christmas trees and carved pumpkins underwater. And this site is called "swordwhale".
So... yeah... not feeling the least bit guilty about taking home some mermaids.
I was already photographing the rather extensive life long collection of Breyer horses in natural settings with some special FX like water or sand flung at their feet to make them look like they are galloping fabulously through the surf.
Not a stretch to wonder how mermaids get along on land.
On seahorses, of course, sea horses with legs. Blue ones, black ones, whatever. The Our Generation horses were perfect (and much more accurately horsey than the similarly scaled American Girl horses)..
I also had a smaller mermaid I'd got years ago, and she became the little sister.
None of them stayed well on slippery seahorses.
Stupid gravity.
Mermaids don't have to deal with gravity in the sea.
I used various sticky dots and Scotch sticky wall putty and made saddles. Mermaids fell off, blew off in the sea wind, and generally had more trouble with horses than I ever had in 62 years of horsemanship...
which was often hilarious.
Then I had to build mermaid saddles for the horses.
Add more mermaids (a friend brought along hers), some other sea creatures, and Hank and Toothless and Otterlock and Hedgejawn and at least two different Black Panthers and Moana and Legolas and some Avengers... and anyone else who wanders by and the beach party never stops.
Some tips for your own beach party.
- They will get wet and sandy, live with it, but have a place to dry them off, and pack them in a nice bin with towels for padding for travel. Anyway, getting wet and sandy is half the fun of a beach.
- Keep your camera angle at their eye level most of the time, that way it doesn't look like you're doing aerial drone shots and they don't look like tiny toys.
- Be aware of tide tables: is the tide going in or out, how far up the beach is that wave actually going to go? I lost Toothless on an Assateague wave... and fortunately he washed back in one the next one. Bay or cove beaches are milder with lower waves.
- Cloudy windy stormy days can be great, they have fabulous clouds. You have an umbrella. And dowel rods to stick in the sand to tie your mermaids to (pipe cleaners work well for that).
- Incorporate land and seascapes and other shots (without mermaids) into your story.
- Dowel rods, fishing line, thicker fishing line, other line, sticky dots, wall putty... all can be used to stabilize your models. Photoshop it out later. Or just shoot around it (put rods on the far side for instance, fishing line is pretty invisible).
- I have One Word: pipe cleaners. Oh wait, that's two. But they work and are fast and easy. Get them in different colors, use to tie Mermaids to dowel rods, or to saddles or bend around arms to pose the mers.
- Be sure you're focused on the model, not the background.You can use a card or other flat printed item to focus a point and shoot digital. Pull the card away before you shoot.
- Props like beach chairs and umbrellas and food items are priceless. They add to the verisimilitude of the picture. (Makes it look more believable) Craft shops, thrift shops, or full sized things in the far background.
- Don't get your shadow in the pic! What's that, Godzilla? Do use the mermaids and other characters' shadows tho.
- Plushies with flat faces like these are easy to Photoshop different expressions onto.
- Just posing them differently and shooting from different angles creates different expressions and body language.
- If all else fails, just green screen it. Or blue screen it. Or... wait, all my mermaids are either blue or green... shooting at home with a plain background (that you can photoshop out later) allows you to combine your mermaids with any pic you shot. Try using a color like red as your "greenscreen" to photograph mers against. Select that color out in Photoshop, to remove it.
- Throw them all on a giant blue sheet, stand on a ladder, and do "under the sea" shots. I added a layer in Photoshop, made it blue, faded it a bit, so they looked like they were actually underwater.
- remember, water has scale: the Assateague ocean beach in the mer galloping on black horse shot looks different from the beach at dusk scene with the blue horse because that's a beach on a small island on a river leading into the Chesapeake Bay, smaller waves, less white foam. A closeup of a very small model at the edge of the water will look different, the water begins to look globby, like jello, because of scale; this will make your model obviously look small. Wind will also create bigger, foamier waves on any beach.
